Speaking from the Heart

Speaking from the heart, there’s days when the sun can’t shine any brighter. You have your mind made up with 100 percent certainty, that you should unequivocally do things one way, and you gather your faith like dirty clothes on the floor that needs to be laundered, and place it all in one machine, because that’s where you know you’ll get results. 

Then there’s other days when your mind takes you all over the place, like a tour guide, making you feel like you need a map in your own God-given territory. What happened to the laundered clothes that were dropped in one place? Did they not get cleaned? Did someone pull them out when you had your back turned for one moment? Sometimes, that’s all it takes is that one moment of doubt. Doubts. Are they okay? How long should you have them? 

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Doubts. I believe they’re okay. They give us a chance to reassess, to determine if we still want those same clothes after all. If nothing goes your way, or if dreams unfold slowly, if you find yourself still standing firm with the case of detergent even when the washer appears broken, then you’ve just learned how badly you still want that dream, how strong your faith really is, and that no obstacle will make you choose a different laundromat. That, my friend, is faith.   

Speaking from the heart, you’d better keep hold of that bottle of detergent, because one day, when you don’t expect that washer to click, it will, and you will learn the power of faith and that dreams come true to those who refuse to leave their spot. 🖤🖤🖤

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Foodgasm On The Go

I've been gone for more than two months, and I apologize for that. I'd written so many blogs, that I just wanted to dedicate more time to my other projects. Well, starting now, I'm going to try to establish a new sense of normalcy. Alright, now to the good stuff! 

 

Why are we underrating salads? Why aren't they getting the delicious praise that they deserve? There's more to salad than just the raggedy Cobb. Yup. Hand me a bucket--blahhh! So, just in case you envision yourself stabbing a pencil in your ear at one's suggestion of you having a salad, take a breather. I'm gonna tell you the best salads to grab on the go. Ohhhh, how I love my countdowns, so you know I had to do one again! Relax, there's only six of them. Anyway, you'll have a mouthgasm in no time, tho. 

***Keep in mind, I don't eat a lot of carbs throughout the day, so any carbs I do take in are well below or within my threshold because it's usually my first or second/final meal of the day. Also, the fat content can be excessive, but don't worry about me, worry about your own restrictions or lack thereof. 😜We all take food in differently to serve our own unique purposes. You can either tweak or discard add-ons to meet your dietary preferences. Now, let's eat!

And, please, don't judge, let me explain.😔

6. Wendy's taco salad $7. 68 I think😋

Listen, you gotta do it right. For me, the stars of this salad are the sour cream and tortilla chips. It's lettuce heavy and scarce on cheese. Booooo! But once you add in the chili, you gotta add in the tortilla chips. This salad to me isn't the healthiest, and for me, it's due to the tortilla chips. However, if you're eating clean most of the time, let it fly and let the sin sit in. That crunch with the sour cream and chili is like a taco in the mouth. Again, my criticism is the lack of cheese and abundance of hard lettuce. It's like it was made with the pit of the iceberg lettuce, you know, the hard parts that no one wants but discards. But if you tire of the rabbit feel of salads, this is a good deviation from that. Just cut the lettuce down as much as possible so your bites aren't as bulky or out of ratio when forking the chili and chips. You'll definitely get that salty crunch when eating this one. At times, I wish there were more ingredients, like radishes, onions, garlic, and a spoon of corn. But it's coming from a drive-thru, so expectations have been successfully lowered. However, despite the lack in variation of ingredients, there's a reason why this salad remains on the menu after decades. It's homely. 

5. Wendy's spicy chicken Caesar salad $same as above😋😋

This is the last Wendy's salad to make it on my list. I swear. It ain't that spicy, really. Sometimes more so than other times, but this salad is simplistic but delicious. It comes with grape tomatoes, cheese, lettuce, and the chicken. The dressing is of course--Caesar, and delicious. I'm a Caesar fanatic, and it's my favorite go-to salad when I feel shaky about other salads on a menu. You can get the chicken grilled or crispy. Of course I'm gonna go with crispy! I do unbreaded when I make my salads at home, soooooo, let me live! This salad offers dark, green lettuce, for which I'm a sucker, and that chicken tho. I wish it came with more cheese, but, hey, I come to expect this from Wendy's. Anyway, the acidic taste from the dressing really complements the chicken so, it's heavenly enough. Oh, don't forget the croutons!

4. Subway tuna salad $7. and some change😋😋😋

If you have to pay for extra tuna, do it. They give you those two little wimpy spoonfuls of tuna that knock the ratio of the whole salad off. Grrrr. Makes me roll my eyes every time. But what do I put on it? I'm very simplistic with my salads. I'm not the type of person to have a million ingredients all over my salad. I like there to be a defining ingredient that champions the rest. I request shredded lettuce, spinach, pickles, tomatoes, American cheese, lots of onions, green peppers (sometimes), tuna, and two crucial dressings: lots of oil & vinegar and creamy sriracha--or is that three? Whatever! If they have croutons, I'll take them, but the heat from the sriracha is just right and when combined with tuna. Honey, look out. Subway makes the best tuna, but that's because of their secret ingredient: lemon juice. Mmmmmm, squirt away. Aside from the pathetic heaps of tuna, this salad rocks!

3. Dawn's Homemade tuna salad $shrugs😋😋😋😋

I looooooove tuna. I loooooooove romaine lettuce. So when I hear about this Yuma, Arizona outbreak madness, I wanna hurt someone. I've had over 60 salads this year, and this salad of mine is a true kitchen staple. Well, you can choose arugula and leafy lettuce for now with spinach. I first add a pinch of salt and a generous amount of lemon juice (thank you, Subway) and mayo to the tuna. Heavenly. Over my romaine lettuce, I add the tuna, craisins, croutons--though tortilla strips are way better and highly advised, Caesar dressing or light raspberry vinaigrette dressing, homemade shredded cheddar or any expensive white cheese block, tomatoes, and sometimes onions. When I wanna eat veggies, I just steam and eat them. I don't really like to add too many to my salads, because they're clunky and override the smooth texture I crave against my tongue. The only crunch I like on my salads are usually tortilla strips and croutons. Well, anyway, this salad is too tasty and will keep you in the grocery store buying lettuce. Do you know how much lettuce my family and I have gone through? 

2. Chik-fil-A honey peppercorn chicken salad $8😋😋😋😋😋

Made on a bed of arugula and leafy lettuce, y'all! This salad was discovered on my radar just today and inspired this blog post. I ate it and died from goodness but came back when I realized I had more books to write. Now, I am not into tons of ingredients on my salad as stated before, but when I pulled it out of the bag, I felt doubtful because of the minimal amount of ingredients used. Did it fill me up? For about two hours. My only regrets were that it does pack in a lot of carbs from the dressings alone and that I didn't order two of these salads. Anyway, I pull out the honey you need to coat over the chicken strips and then I open the bag of salted caramel pecans. Not to mention, they sprinkle dried cherries in there, too. It comes with bacon, but I'm super rigid about pork 🤮🤢 and had them leave that bacon off. Also, they put goat cheese in it--goat!!! Beaaaaaaaahhhh. Y'all! The goat cheese just kind of melts as you go and by the last bite, you've died. Anyway, the breaded chicken was shiny and well-cooked, and just . . . I cannot talk about this salad because hours later, I'm hungry and pissed that I don't have any lettuce in this house and don't know what to eat that will make me forget that salad until I go back for it. If this is a limited-time offering, I'm pissed some more.

1. Silverado Grilled Salmon Short Stack Salad $18😋😋😋😋😋😋

Ummmm, where do I begin? I'm sorry if you don't live near Silverado, but it is a part of the of Great American Restaurant Chain. I think this chain is exclusive to Northern Virginia, but I can tell you what's in it! First, you must grill a sexy piece of salmon. Then, you'll need leafy greens, some champagne vinaigrette dressing, dates that look like little barrels, sun-dried cranberries, tomatoes, and pine nuts. They used to serve it with small, cold pieces of potatoes, but I always kicked it to the side of my plate, because it always tasted like a chef’s afterthought. Luckily, they must've come to their senses on this, because I didn't see it in the salad the last time I went. This salad is offered with goat cheese for an extra buck, served warmed or cold, but I always choose warmed. Between the dates, cheese and grilled salmon, it only makes sense that a salad this expensive would sit at number one.

 

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If you don't know what to choose, I beg of you to honor the rank in which the salads sit to make a rational decision. You have to recreate my salad at home, but you MUST stop by Chik-fil-A, because unlike Silverado, you can find their salad anywhere.

 

So Far . . .

I know I haven't blogged in a while. And in fact, it looks like I haven't blogged since January 7th. I wish I can say that I apologize, but I needed the break and I have been busy with finishing the second book, Capital Consequences. I should be working right now, but I just had to document this moment in my life. I have been feeling somewhat guilty though, like I could've written this days or weeks ago if it would help someone else to keep pushing. So, for the year of 2018, so far . . .

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I'VE BEEN WITHOUT BREAD

This is a huuuuuge deal to me. I have been bread dependent since pfft, I don't know. And my dependency has been deeper since leaving college. You know, when you leave college, you get to pay attention a bit more to other things, things that turn you on, make you happy. You no longer have to focus on a term paper or assignment, just work. So, the only time I've been without bread was in January 2007 for two weeks. That makes me wanna laugh. I was doing the SBD and couldn't have it and the minute I could, I did. Big mistake. I can't ration bread, I don't think. I'm a keto-seeking junkie now, and I live on YouTube to find out who has better ideas than I do, because as a neophyte, I don't have many. So, almond and coconut flour have been my road dogs, but honestly, opening the bag of almond flour is not the best greeting smell if you ask me. Others may like it, but it smells and tastes a bit too corny for me. But it does pair well with dark chocolate! Coconut flour smells good and beachy, but it dries out batter or absorbs it, pretty quickly. So, I've found coconut to be kind of a nuisance, and it also makes everything taste like coconut, yeah, duh, but you kind of hope it doesn't or expect it to make everything taste better when you do use it by lending a delectable taste of coconut. Unfortunately, I don't find myself to pleased with this flour--but it's pretty! But muffins made of almond flour with dark chocolate chips are delicious.  I tried to make butter biscuits using almond flour and I ended up throwing out the whole batch. Some people's recipes are just not happening. And for that, you end up wasting a lot of ingredients at times. I also try to read the comments from people to see how it came out for them before proceeding. I could also buy a keto recipe book, but I haven't gotten that far, because I'm always on YouTube or the internet and it saves me from the bookstore or looking up books. Fathead recipes are supposed to be the thing, but I haven't been able to explore them yet. So, my friends, I wasn't craving a pizza, but I sure was curious to try to make one. I tried a cauliflower crust. It's . . . okay, and I love some parts that were firmer like real crust, but it got a little soggy, and I know you should also use hard cheese and at the moment, I didn't have it handy, just shredded. But, does the taste of cauliflower complement cheese? Ehhhhh, for some, yes. For me, so-so. Still, I trudged forward and tried cloud bread, also known as oopsie bread. It's made of egg and cream cheese. Bluh! With cheese on top, it was all just too overbearingly mushy on my tongue and after one-and-a-half slices, it made me wanna gag. It was all too soft, mushy. Then I tried the almond flour for it, and during the process, it felt promising, until it didn't. It was the most beautiful pizza of them all, the most identical to traditional-crust pizza. Now trust me, I don't bite into any of these foods with the expectation that they will or should taste like traditional recipes. Honestly, that's the refreshing part. You want to embrace a new taste and not be dependent on the tastes of processed goods or overly starchy and sugary foods. But, the almond flour tasted too corny and weird, despite the seasonings I used in the crust. Sigh. I was a big lover of pizza, and I'll just buy a new base this week and try it again. The key is that while I'm not craving these foods with a hard-on like I normally would be, it just feels good to know that if you want it, you can have it, and with satisfaction. I mean, you'll never want more than two slices of the pizza because these flours are very filling and that's the point. You don't feel ridiculously full or guilty afterwards. You feel like a human eating food that was originally made to keep you alive, not kill you. But when bread fails me, I don't really care because I'm so addicted to salads and veggies, then I'm cool. But you know, sometimes you want the old days back of being able to butter your sliced bread, eat a cracker with cream cheese, etc. Oh! I made biscottis for the first time, and they came out well. I spread chocolate on top but at that point, my chocolate had dried out and it didn't translate too well on the pics. But, they were satisfying after eating just one. I'd make them again!

I'VE BEEN WITHOUT CRACKERS

You gotta understand: I love tuna. I love, love, love tuna, and some things taste better with tuna, and a great cracker is one of them. I tried making a Cheez-it type cracker, because I love those things, just solo, not with a dip. I added a bit of flour to my cheese dough and it looked so promising, but I burned it after getting impatient and turning up the heat as they cooked in the oven. I wanted that hardened crunch, which I think is best achieved if you throw in dough made only of rolled-out cheese. Well, a few days ago, I made cheese crackers that were puffy and not bad tasting. I made my tuna the way Subway does and man! Well, the tuna was a foodgasm in itself, but the cheese complemented that and after about ten crackers, I was full and that was dinner. I look forward to playing around with making crackers, because you can always add a low-carb tasty dip and make it so delicious. Salivating. (Haven't had breakfast yet and I am hungry!!!)

I'VE BEEN WITHOUT CANDY

Okay, you're talking to someone who loved sugar so much, she could roll around in her bed in delight with something mad sweet in her mouth. But when you have to worry about diabetes, who has time for that? I loved my sweets, but diabetes runs in my family and my man knows that. So, do you think he would let me enjoy too much candy without making me feel irresponsible? I can't tell you how many times I got the preachy-toned warning. "Careful, Dawn. You don't wanna get diabetes." Come on, sir, neither do I, but have you tasted this sugar?! It's addictive! Aaaaand that's the point. Sugar is relentless and when you're a sugarhead like me, there ain't no walking away from your pimp with ease. He'll grab you by his sugar cane and snatch you back to his Cadillac like a two-dolla hoe. Well. Cravings for sugar, no? Craving for something that will seduce the sweet sensation of your tongue? You bet! I can only have dark chocolate and that soothes the itch. Although, I liked the nutrition facts of a box of strawberry pudding that I found in Whole Foods last night. It looked like what Valentines Day would taste like and tasted like it, too. I wanted to stab someone with my spoon it was so . . . satisfying. It leaves a less-than-desirable aftertaste in your mouth, but once you drink your water or brush your teeth, you're good. Also, Wegmans has that bulk section of heaven. If you want a candy sensation, I've found that a small serving of dried cherries and dried strawberries are sweet enough to please you, but careful! Only a handful, because you know dried fruit isn't really healthy, but you're just not opening a bag of Skittles and Starbursts, but you still can't feel too lofty. Too sweet is too sweet. Anyway, dark chocolate recipes convert to brownies, cake, cupcakes, and muffins--so basically, heaven! I tear up some dark chocolate. My favorite is eating dark chocolate chips with a side of blueberries. Can't stop, won't stop. Before, I hated dark chocolate, wasn't sweet enough. But now, oh yeah, it tastes just right.

I'VE BEEN WITHOUT JUICES

No regrets there, for sure. I like a Canada Dry ginger ale, and that was the only soda I would touch before this year. For me, it wasn't a real soda. But sugar is sugar and not water is not water. I used to drink juice in moderation as well or dilute it with ice. Now, it's been nothing but coffee, as usual, hot tea, and water! All unsweet, but when I want to spice it up, I'll request no more than three shots of a syrup flavor or nothing at all. Iced, hot, it doesn't matter, as long as it's not sedated with sugar. Yeah, lol, sedated. It's always good to lean on water anyway. A lot of people hate drinking coffee without sugar, but I was already a pro at that. Sometimes I go black, no cream, but I will always miss my five shots of vanilla, or pouring all the sweet coconut creamer in at my leisure. I use the coconut creamer here and there, but just not so much. Sometimes, a gal needs some spice in her coffee. Leave me alone!

I'VE BEEN WITH MOVIE THEATRE POPCORN

Yeahhhhh. *Sarcastic blink with a smug smile* You heard me. I enjoy my favorite carb snack in the world when I go to the movies. Are you kidding me? Live without this? Nope. Not gonna happen. I can probably eat this for breakfast, lunch, or dinner! The smell, the taste, the taste, the-the taste! Butter and jalapeños. Yeah, back off, it ain't gonna happen. I can take a break for some weeks, but all in all, bring on the kernels! I like to shock my body with this treat. I don't wanna bore it. Salivating. Let's move on . . .

I'VE BEEN DOING MY SQUATS

Before 2018, I squatted alright. Squatted to sit. After one of my best friends proposed a thirty-day challenge, I decided to keep going, knowing during the challenge that I couldn't stop just because the challenge would. Unfortunately, I haven't done over 200 squats in one day yet, but I'm gonna try 300-350 one day. One day this week should be good, but we'll see. I like the side view of my butt and my legs feel hard like rocks, and when I'm stretched out in bed, I can't help but caress my leg. I needed more powerful legs. There's many stairs in my condo, so these things have come in handy. If you got any upper-body ideas, let me know. I can only think of wall pushups and haven't really given that my all yet.

I'VE BEEN INCREASING MY VEGETABLES

Always been a lover of vegetables. When I was a pescatarian for seven years, come on. But it was also easy to become carb-dependent back in that era, and soy-dependent as well. I love, love, love my green veggies, and green beans are my rock. But, for someone who was a French fry lover, but is used to being without that, I've done jicama. Jicama is cool and doesn't take long to cook. Love my mashed potatoes made only of cauliflower, oh man. Pair that with green beans and say no more. Think I'm gonna eat that tonight!

I'VE BEEN INCREASING MY SALAD INTAKE

In January, I had 25 salads, because they are so addicting! I have always been a chicken Caesar salad junkie, but not like this, only when I would decide to have a salad. I eat vegetarian salads, too. I love tuna salads as well, but Caesar is my man. That whole combination on the tongue is like--ahhhhhh. Yeah, I love my salads. Once you eat those, there's nothing much to say. Appetite gets satisfied quickly with salads. Problem is, when you eat too much sugar and carbs, why would you want a salad when you can have other stuff like Chinese food, pizza, whatever? And so, it's easy to ignore those little gems. But if I'm somewhere and know it's time to eat, the thought of my salads make me smile.

I'VE BROKEN UP WITH MY DELIVERY DRIVER

Ha-ha! Okay, well, as obsessed as I was with Chinese food, I haven't had any in almost a year. I loved pizza and Paisanos, man they had some good fries and burgers, but yeah, they had to go, too. Haven't called them up way before 2018 started. I guess you can say, if I "eat out" now, it's been Wegmans hot bar only, like two or three times, but only when starving and still adhering to my guidelines. I won't bend just because I'm outside or hungry. I will literally starve till I get home if I have to. I won't do the bad thing. I've had something from Whole Foods, once, still something I would make at home. And lastly, I've had one or two salads from Wendy's. That's it. No order-in, drive-thru, oh! My boyfriend took me to IHOP one morning for breakfast. I only ordered what I make at home. So, that was the only thing that kept me from crying from the thought of eating outside my kitchen. I've been a cooker since . . . for a super, long time. I love to cook! You hear me? My man is so grateful for my skills, and I know this is one of his favorite things about me. I love his feedback and criticism. When he chews and gives me that look to say, "Mmm, mmm, MMM! Dawn, (not 'baby,' this is serious, now) your cooking has gotten even better." Victory dance! I've never been much of a baker. Mainly because it's rigid and all those sweet goodies would fall to my thighs in no time. But, baking keto dishes has become more like a self-competitive experiment for me. I like to see what works and what doesn't. Again, it's more about finding out what I have at my disposal if I ever find myself needing these items and knowing I have some sort of mastery of it. It's been fun!

I'VE BEEN KEEPING A FOOD JOURNAL

Never done that before! Now that I do, I can't stop. That's how I was able to tell you how many salads I've had in January after doing a quick skim of my journal. It's messy, but it records my squats done for the day, the date, and my food/smoothie intake. I don't document what I drink because for me, it's irrelevant. For me, it's not so much about reflection right now, but more about knowing that I am tracking how I am treating myself. It puts me more in touch with physical wellness, versus it being a tool of judgment. I don't add expressions or anything to it. I write down the facts and leave it at that. I eat from the same groups, just on different days, time, and in different combinations. It makes me feel serious to bettering myself, more committed. 

LASTLY . . . 

Do I miss my old lifestyle? No. Not at all. My life motto has always been to do the opposite of the masses. Be the one who does the weird, because chances are it's the better choice. Do I sit around and discuss my eating habits with others? No, I don't pay it any attention. I just do my own thing and let others do theirs. All bodies react differently to foods, and where my struggles may be, ain't where it is for others. Am I happy to eat from the outer aisles of the grocery store than from the inner aisles? Yes! It takes less time to shop since a lot of my options are closed, my food bills is only driven up by expensive flour, but I don't need to buy it frequently. So, because I use the same ingredients to make new meals, I'm good to go. Needless to say, lettuce doesn't survive long in my house, and it's easier to buy meat in bulk. I love seeing what I can make better, and I love to see how closely I can create keto-inspired baked goods to regular baked items. My blood pressure is very impressive, my skin is nice and matted, a bit dry though with this winter air,  and my legs have been stronger than ever. Why would I wanna give this up? Right now, I've escaped from my pimp, and many hoes don't get to do that.

 

Black Coffee by Author Brookelyn Mosley

Black Coffee

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T H E  T A S T E... strong and unapologetically bold. Some find black coffee tasteless and difficult to drink on its own without having it lightened or sweetened. It takes a unique individual to sip on it just as it is.


"Can I get a refill?" He asked.


I'd normally offer no response. Just turn on my heels, tilt the glass carafe and pour out the coffee.


No eye contact.


No cordial grin.


Just a refill.


But he was different.


The moment I glanced over my shoulder and saw him I knew it would be on between he and I.


He had dimples, deep ones. Eyes a shade of jade and faint freckles that hid around the curves of his nose too. His low cut wavy hair was dark brown and his skin the color of cacao powder. Now this guy was not normally my type but the contrast of his eyes against his skin tone made me hold on to my inhale a second longer when he caught my attention.


I mean… can I be honest with you?


I knew within seconds of meeting a man if there was a chance I’d sleep with him. I may not have done him right then and there, but it was always easy for me to decide if he could get it. It was his job to keep up the allure, the fascination, essentially my attraction to him.


Sadly, very few knew how to.


But this guy was the exception.

His name was… it was...


You know what? Forget it. His name isn't important.


The relevance irrelevant.


I like my coffee how I like my men... hot, strong and black.


No sugar.


No cream.


Just black.


So, we’ll call him... black coffee, okay?


Now, where was I?


Oh, right…


When we first met, black coffee and I, he looked me in my eyes and held his stare until I smiled. He was deliberate in his gawk. With every caffeinated sip he took he made sure our eyes connected from across the counter.


Sexxxy.


Just fine without trying.


His energy was unforgettable. How could I forget? The memory of our first meeting was still fresh because it was created only 24-hours ago.


Are you judging?


Be honest.


Doesn’t matter...


Anyway, this morning, twelve days before Christmas, I'd been thinking of him from the moment the sun rose behind tall buildings and I woke up in an empty bed in a hotel room. But I kicked the habit of daydreaming about our night together when I arrived at the diner for work. It was the smell of coffee that triggered it. The memory of last night. The thoughts of his fingertips trailing the muscular line that highlighted my calf. Smoothing his fingers to the nook of my knee and hiking my leg high enough to prepare me to receive his first upstroke.

I stroked the handle of the coffee carafe slow and bit back a smile thinking of last night. My back faced the diner customers as my mind took me back to the hotel, against that wall.


Earlier that night, while at work, I ached… no craved some much needed attention. I'd bubbled in my final answer on the last test of my finals that morning and was finally free to think of something other than school. For months, I'd kept my eyes buried in books and off men. With exams out the way my mind became preoccupied with another finale. One I'd served myself. But now, I wanted someone else to serve me. And someone else served it right. Two miles from the diner and against a hotel wall. Pinned by his body and so close we shared the same breaths.


The warmth of his exhale on my neck. His tongue on the top curve of my breasts. Sending my temperature to a summer heat in the middle of December.

I grew impatient, waiting. Hungry for the strong glide of his erection to feed me and my sodden walls. Longing for him to rim my cup, the head of him getting glazed with my hot sugar. I gasped when he angled his hips, bent his knees just enough to slide in slow. The drip of molasses... slow. My head leaned back, and my bottom lip retreated in my mouth. Held still by my teeth as I contracted, released, the pleasure on repeat like a juke box tune. It turned me on the moment slick sounds replaced talking.


The thrill of getting pleased by black coffee was euphoric.


A mental aphrodisiac, my mind starved of judgment.


Against the chilled wall, he planted one hand beside me. His heated sighs tickled my ears as gusts of air echoed his pumps. In and out motions made my muscles quiver, my free knee shake, and my heart increase in rhythm. The rhythmic pace of his strokes caused my back to slide up and down that wall. The friction mirroring his strokes. We watched as our pupils dilated until the sight of seeing the other climax was too much to witness in real time. I wanted to express gratitude for him serving me like that but decided giving in to the release rippling through me to be thanks enough. Showing my body the kind of attention its been missing since September.


Sleep wasn’t even an option that night and I didn’t miss it. It was worth it being kept up and filled with black coffee.


"EXCUSE ME, HELLO!" a customer yelled, slamming the side of her fist on top of the counter. "I've been trying to get your attention for the last few minutes now. Damn."


I turned to face her and noticed the familiar look. Wrinkled school tee, frizzy ponytail, red rimmed eyes, and books propped up against the space behind her elbow.


"Sorry." I smirked. “Finals, right?”


She rolled her eyes and slid her mug across the counter and over to me. "Not to be rude, but I really couldn't care less for the small talk."


"No worries."


She pointed and said, "I only want a refill of that black coffee."


I reached for the glass carafe, tilted it, and watched the liquid pour into her coffee-stained mug.


"Yeah.” I smiled to myself. "Me too."

It May Be Junk To You

It may be junk to you, but it could also be the very thing that bonds you and me or keeps me sane in an ocean of responsibility and endless tasks. What am I talking about? I’m talking about good old-fashion TV shows. 

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Some peope snark at the sound of TV bringing one pleasure, but I say, as long as you’re doing what you’re supposed to be doing in life, you know the common core that forever binds us all: chores, exercise, bill-paying, family and friends time, and work of some sort etc... then enjoy! Besides, you ain’t hurtin’ nobody and escaping from reality is one of my most favorite things to do. Duh. I’m an author of fiction. Escape is my middle name.  

This list below comprises the shows that allow me to forget about politics, worldwide issues and anything personal going on at the moment. It’s also a great time for bonding when with family, spouses or lovers. Whatever works for ya!

But in no particular order, here are the shows that set my mind freeeeee! 

 

 Why? Whyyyyy does this show have to end? I mean, as a Washingtonian, I like to see which shows can capture the feel of this area when they shoot. It’s more than running the White House and showing clips of backdrops of the historical monuments that makes a successful representation of DC. I mean, I even forgave Scandal for showing palm trees in one episode and its error in a Metro stop. The particulars escape me right now, but let’s just say someone on set didn’t do their homework. Anyway, the show doesn’t feel as Washington as House of Cards, but it’ll do, and who cares?! It’s cast is amazing and Kerry Washington and I should be friends. After watching this show, don’t you wanna be hers as well? Don’t know how hard I’ll cry when this show goes but raise one last red one for Olivia, will ya? I’m beyond sad to see this show go, because it made Thursdays the new Fridays, and especially in conjunction with the show listed right after this one. Scandal, please don’t go . . . #teamofitz

Why? Whyyyyy does this show have to end? I mean, as a Washingtonian, I like to see which shows can capture the feel of this area when they shoot. It’s more than running the White House and showing clips of backdrops of the historical monuments that makes a successful representation of DC. I mean, I even forgave Scandal for showing palm trees in one episode and its error in a Metro stop. The particulars escape me right now, but let’s just say someone on set didn’t do their homework. Anyway, the show doesn’t feel as Washington as House of Cards, but it’ll do, and who cares?! It’s cast is amazing and Kerry Washington and I should be friends. After watching this show, don’t you wanna be hers as well? Don’t know how hard I’ll cry when this show goes but raise one last red one for Olivia, will ya? I’m beyond sad to see this show go, because it made Thursdays the new Fridays, and especially in conjunction with the show listed right after this one. Scandal, please don’t go . . . #teamofitz

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Love this gorgeous woman here!!! She’s everything we’re taught not to praise in regards to beauty—to hell with society’s boring standards of beauty—and when I see her ole melanin-infused self sashay around like she has a broken foot when wearing heels, I just wanna flick my wrist at the screen and shout, “You go, Mama!” Her. Take a moment and just gnaw on your knuckles in awe. Let a tear fall. She’s amazing!!!! When Chaka Khan sang, “I’m very woman...” was she talking about this queen right here? She commands that role though. Like, Viola, teach me how to act. Okay, I failed to mention the show, but she IS the show. In seriosity, I love this show. It can be a bit to follow, so try to stay quiet and keep up! 👏🏽

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Don’t. Don’t suck your teeth, throw shade or roll your eyes. I’m a creative and watching people create a novel with clothes—okay it feels like that—is just amazing. It’s indescribable! Okay, it’s not. Listen, it feels like an inspiration unfolding in front of your eyes. To see someone with a creative idea make something that goes on our backs every day is relaxing. It’s a real treat to see what each designer produces and how they stand out against one another one after the other on a runway. I like to see if the judges will agree with me or not.  I loooooooooooooove this show.

 

 This is the show we needed! Funny, fun, light then serious but never too heavy, well-casted, and fresh material that discusses so many things I can relate to. Have you seen the church episode? They go to a white church and the white family that invited them attends their church in return. Between this one and the one when Dre had to prove to Michael Rappaport that he was black enough, both episodes were my favorite of all time and had my sides hurting with tears falling down and a runny nose. Yes! I don’t know what black person cannot relate to that church episode. They nailed the depiction of a black church. There is nothing like relatability. Nothing.

This is the show we needed! Funny, fun, light then serious but never too heavy, well-casted, and fresh material that discusses so many things I can relate to. Have you seen the church episode? They go to a white church and the white family that invited them attends their church in return. Between this one and the one when Dre had to prove to Michael Rappaport that he was black enough, both episodes were my favorite of all time and had my sides hurting with tears falling down and a runny nose. Yes! I don’t know what black person cannot relate to that church episode. They nailed the depiction of a black church. There is nothing like relatability. Nothing.

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I used to want to hurl something at my TV when their stupid commercials came on. There’s nothing stupid about this show. It’s wondeufl!!! Started watching since season 16. The psychological warfare it plays on the contestants’ minds as well as us viewers... Man, don’t you just wanna strangle the houseguests sometimes?! I could never live in that germ-infested house. Ew. Have you seen how nasty they are in the kitchen? Nah, bruh. Anyway, the moment I hear Julie Chen’s voice, I squeal because it’s real. But I cannot get enough of this show. Gives. Me. Summer. Life. Looooove this show. 

 

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Hahahaha. Don’t sleep on this show. I used to until my man got me into it. You can’t help but want to find out what will happen as the love may or may not unfold. The cultural differences and expectations are a trip! Seeing how the Americans handle the demands of their foreign lovers is too entertaining. Watching the Americans naively think their lovers abroad will just culturally “fall in line” without a hitch while helping the lovers assimilate with blind regard for the difficulty is just a hoot. Sad. But a hoot.

 

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New York. J-lo. Guns. Crooked cops. Nuff said. It all works. 😊 

 Again. Don’t judge. Is it superficial? Not when Tyra has been trying to embrace beauty in ways that society resists. She’s been trying to show that hips are aight. She’s been trying to show that gapped teeth can be an asset. She’s been trying to show you that shorter legs can work. I mean, do I wish we had models with more melanin than the average black girl complexion? Yes. I’m talking at least Lupita Nyong’o dark. But at least Tyra pushes back in some kind of way. Besides, I like the drama among the catty models and the dramatic makeovers. I don’t always wanna think and follow storylines. Again, it’s in the creative field. Of course I’m gonna love it!

Again. Don’t judge. Is it superficial? Not when Tyra has been trying to embrace beauty in ways that society resists. She’s been trying to show that hips are aight. She’s been trying to show that gapped teeth can be an asset. She’s been trying to show you that shorter legs can work. I mean, do I wish we had models with more melanin than the average black girl complexion? Yes. I’m talking at least Lupita Nyong’o dark. But at least Tyra pushes back in some kind of way. Besides, I like the drama among the catty models and the dramatic makeovers. I don’t always wanna think and follow storylines. Again, it’s in the creative field. Of course I’m gonna love it!

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I know this show is still in its inception, but Freddy Highmore won me over with the Bates Motel—him and his ole crazy mom. Pulling off an autistic character is effortlessly achieved by Highmore. Nailing underrepresented characters ain’t in every actor’s wheelhouse. And it’s nice to watch a show with a main character diagnosed with something that’s been barely touched on versus the typical sex addict, alcoholic, or any other overdone diagnosis. While not to belittle any condition that challenges a person to function with ease on a daily level, it’s nice to know that someone was willing to write outside of the box. We’ve been waiting for TV like this with an actor who is highly capable of pulling it off. I see great things for this show. It’s a winner already. 

 After I rented season one in 2010 during a blizzard, I cried like a baby and tossed this miserable series to the side. Perhaps the wound of my brother’s passing was still too fresh, but five years after his passing still made the watching of Grey’s Anatomy too sad. But when 2016 came, I was determined to give it another go and boy I’m glad I did. No tears. Just hot tea and Grey’s and I’m happy. 

After I rented season one in 2010 during a blizzard, I cried like a baby and tossed this miserable series to the side. Perhaps the wound of my brother’s passing was still too fresh, but five years after his passing still made the watching of Grey’s Anatomy too sad. But when 2016 came, I was determined to give it another go and boy I’m glad I did. No tears. Just hot tea and Grey’s and I’m happy. 

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I like this show. This season was the most entertaining. Do I wish that he’d change that freaking menu? Absolutely! But I’m not over Gordon Ramsey yet and clearly not enough viewers are either. So he stays. I’ll take another sharp-tongue insult—though I prefer the donkey days. 😁 I love to cook, so this stays on my DVR to automatically record right no. By the way, he should do All-Stars more often. Their egos just get bigger at this point. 

 

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Yessssss. Gimme teams of people galloping around the world arguing with partners over directions and other pissy issues we can relate to. I say it all the time. I could not take my man with me to compete on this show. Well, I have no interest in trying out anyway, but still. They reflect what I believe to be true about my relationship. When it comes to moments like reading a map, which would be my boo’s job, I hate reading those things, I fear we’d argue over the stupidest thing and I’d pull stubborn. I’d shut down and wanna ignore him. Baby, let’s just stick to overcoming the mundane where we won’t win a cash prize for it. I’ll take my college bestie to compete instead. 

 

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Mannnn I love this show! Will they or won’t they take home at least a million? Hell, it can be hard rolling away with just $300k, but it’s been done before—yes, the million. LeBron warns that contestants can walk away with 12 million total. Yeaaaaaaah, don’t bet on that. This wall can be brutal! One moment you’re rolling in the deep like Adele, and the next you’re praying your partner didn’t destroy the contract of guaranteed money that usually falls shy of $200k. Either way, you’re rooting for the ball dropper and calling the question-answering contestant stupid for missing answers you know. Nail biter.

🧚🏾‍♂️Well, this concludes my list. Not all my shows are listed, but you get a taste of my taste. I’m a Gemini, relax. We like nothing that seems to be consistent for trivial things and thrive on randomness. Some of you may be wondering where This Is Us is and why I didn’t post it. Love that show, too. I was just afraid that one peek at its banner would make you cry.😁🧚🏾‍♂️